Thursday, 12 March 2015

Quick write

As we drove past a pride of muscular females and lazy Boss.

Then suddenly one of the female jumped up and started creeping along well the car was moving. Then suddenly she looked me right into my eyes, then suddenly she bit the car handle and opened the door up.

Then suddenly she shut the door and then looked the car door and we left


My goal was to put paragraph in the right place and I achieved that by putting paragraphs when there was a new idea i put a paragraph there

2 comments:

  1. Great structure Jacob, you need to make sure you don't overuse some words. Try to use a range of verbs and adjectives.

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  2. Cool writing Jacob it sounds really funny

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